Anxiety is 'an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs such as sweating, tension, and increased pulse. It is caused by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, as well as self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it.' This is the definition provided by the Webster-Merriam dictionary. Anxiety can also be considered a medical condition for which the exact cause is not fully understood, although it can be linked to a number of medical conditions or as a side effect to medication. More information about anxiety as a medical condition can be found on the Mayo Clinic website. The two are not mutually exclusive, and anxiety related to abuse should be treated as a medical condition.
Anxiety is an emotion that most people can empathize with. It can be expressed in many ways, and has a spectrum of severity. The majority of people experience lesser forms of anxiety throughout their life when in stressful situations while persons with medical issues or traumatic pasts may experience a more severe or pervasive form of anxiety. Coping mechanisms for anxiety range from the benign to the extreme with some being healthy and other destructive. Meditation, breathing exercises, therapy, and medication are the most common solutions provided by the medical community. Professional assistance may be needed if coping mechanisms include obsessive compulsive thoughts, self harm, destructive behaviors, harming others, or forms of self-sabotage (within personal and/or professional aspects of life).
It is difficult to cover the full range of those spectrums in a short post but we hope to share some of our experiences with anxiety here. As usual, we invite our readers to share their experiences with anxiety in the comments.
" Anxiety is never the word I use to describe how I feel. It seems to mundane compared to the uneasy, restless feeling seeping out of my bones. It is however the main issue I spend most of my days working against. Recently, it reached a point where I sought out therapy. I have put off seeing a therapist for many years, instead focusing on building a support group, freewriting, and meditation. I have other legitimate issues that I struggle with such as nightmares and flashbacks. These are incredibly unpleasant issues to deal with, and after time I began to feel anxious that I would again experience a nightmare or flashback. I started putting off sleep or leaving my house after I had hit a trigger, both of which made matters worse. I was withdrawing from social situations and nervous at work. I was spending a lot of time dwelling on the feelings. A friend finally told me I needed help when a stalking situation caused a flashback, and I started having panic attacks after consensual, desired sex with my significant other. I would enjoy myself until the end and then instead of afterglow I would have this intense, very rapid emotional free fall ending in dread. It was a familiar feeling in a way, but it had been a number of years since I had been in any of the situations that had originally caused me to feel that way.
I made an appointment with a therapist the day my friend suggested it. He really isn't the type to suggest therapy at all, so I knew I must have shocked him with my revelation. I was initially very scared to see a therapist but the appointment went well. It was decided that I was having panic attacks due to anxiety and that it had probably intensified due to the issue with the stalker situation. I was told that I had done everything I could outside of therapy. It was a relief to talk to someone about everything. I was assigned a list of questions to help me rationalize situations (such as being safe outside my house) and was told to do some EMDR exercises. I was also encouraged to continue my normal activities with increased exercise, allowing time to prove to myself that everything was okay. Medication was considered as a last resort. I thankfully have not needed to take that last step as of writing this post.
Ultimately, I have to employ rationalization the most, followed by breathing exercises and EMDR. I will make myself do something in spite of the anxiety if I can find no rational reason for it." - D.M.
"Anxiety from abuse comes in a lot of forms, and it's not always obvious, even to the sufferer. Social anxiety easily gets interpreted as "being shy", especially for those who abuse happened early. Generalized anxiety can be hard to recognize as well, as it becomes so pervasive that it simply blends into the background of your life. You don't notice that you're slowly becoming a shut-in, or you rationalize it as what you want.
It's okay to have just a few friends, but if you feel like you have no friends, or like your circle of friends keeps getting smaller, definitely get assessed for anxiety. I personally spent years with a shrinking circle of local friends, as those who I knew from high school and college moved away, and I was too socially anxious to get out and make more. It took a suicide attempt and the ensuing therapy to get me to actually start finding local activities and making friends again.
As someone with dissociative tendencies, my experience of anxiety is also a bit different. I can get the increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and so forth - or, sometimes, all of that shuts down, and I do things as someone else, switching into a mental mode of detachment, like I'm a rider inside my head, watching someone else work the controls. I don't physically feel anxious in that state, so it took me a long time to link that with being anxious. Now that I have, though, I know it's also something to watch out for." - T
As usual, there is a fair chance that more personal experiences will be added as out collaborators find time to submit their choice of words.
Anxiety is one of the harder emotions to broadly define because it expresses itself in so many ways and no two people will cope with it in exactly the same way. The healthiest and most effective solutions are meditation, therapy, and medication. These may be supplemented by life style changes, mindfulness techniques, and sheer will power at times. We strongly encourage readers who are using alcohol, drugs, or self-harm as coping techniques to look into other alternatives and to review our Resources and Help page for where best to find assistance. Additional resources include the United Way Organization within your local community. They can provide a directory of organizations within each community that specialize in helping people with substance abuse, domestic abuse, crisis and suicide prevention, and other important community services.
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