Mental Illness: Emotional Dysregulation

This post is meant to provide a brief overview on symptoms of mental illness and then insight into living with the symptom. It should not be used as a diagnostic tool, but if you relate to what you read, it may be time to have a conversation with a mental health professional. 

Emotional dysregulation is the inability to regulate emotional reactions. There are four main aspects to this issue according to Psychology Today.

• A lack of awareness, understanding, and acceptance of emotions
• A lack of adaptive strategies for regulating emotions (the intensity and/or duration)
• An unwillingness to experience emotional distress whilst pursuing desired goals
• An inability to engage in goal-directed  behaviors when experiencing distress

These are mental and behavioral strategies that ultimately make negative emotions worse.

What does emotional dysregulation look like?

• Experiencing intense emotions
• Crying in response to a variety of feelings, even happiness
• Struggling to take your focus away from your emotions
• Having mood swings and unpredictable emotions
• Having a low tolerance for frustrating situations
• Being unaware of the feelings of other people
• Becoming overly excited

Emotional dysregulation can be aspects of multiple mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, panic disorders, and borderline personality disorder. They may involve dysregulated behaviors such as self harm, substance abuse, etc. which are unhealth coping mechanisms.

It can also be a side effect of neurodivergence such as ADHD or autism which may result in a meltdown for some if the triggers are strong enough.

Emotional dysregulation can negatively impact multiple areas of your life resulting in workplace difficulties, issues studying or in school, relationship conflicts, worsening mental health struggles, and increasing a tendency for risky behaviors (i.e. substance abuse, dangerous driving, etc.)

What can you do to have healthy emotional regulation?

Practice good mental and physical health as outlined in our sections on self care.

• Exercise
• Deep Breathing
• Yoga
• Acceptance
• Awareness
• Learn your tirggers
• Try the F.O.U.L. Method
• Try the R.A.I.N. Method
• Reframe self talk
• Therapy & Medication may help depending on the reason for dysregulation
• CBT and DBT therapies are often used for emotional regulation

Helpful Links:

Article: Emotional Dysregulation in Children and Adolescents with Psychiatric Disorders (NIH)

Understanding ADHD (by ADDA)

What is Emotional Dysregulation? (Psychology Today)

"Emotional dysregulation is most often something I hear talked about in regards to ADHD these days. I live with three adults with ADHD so its a common conversation in our house. It is interesting to talk about how I have the same symptom as part of my PTSD/PMDD while my bestie has it because of ADHD. The way it works in our heads is different but the end result is the same.

Sometimes the world is just really overwhelming and the ability to regulate or function "normally" is shot. I am pretty good at recognizing when I have reached my limit and shutting myself away until I can regulate again.

I think most often for me it feels like standing still and quiet when the emotions inside me are begging me to just scream and throw things. Its like my emotions are too big for my body and they need to get out somehow, but some rational part of me knows we can't behave that way. It can come from a place of rage or pain or frustration. It takes an enormous amount of self control to just hold my tongue and walk away. I know this is healthy management but it feels like absolute garbage in the moment.

I tried to describe it before so I am going to share my prose "Scream" which I think captures the feeling quite well.

SCREAM

Somedays I just want to scream. I don't want to censor or silence myself. It's beyond longing to simply release the feral beast trapped within. She is not a quiet, passive person. She rages, slamming against the walls of her prison while snarling and clawing any happiness nearby. She need not be provoked for simply being awake is enough to draw forth a mighty anger bore from the darkest reaches of my own soul. Today, I want to scream. I don't want to reason with those I love or hope for their acceptance. Somehow today I want to scream to the overcast skies that there are still unhealed wounds, that I can not bear the saline words ground into them. The silent denial of truths that rock my world, the blissful ignorance of the black abyss monster always poised to drag me under the churning waves. The endless nights laying awake because I can feel the shadows settle as my demons hover over me waiting to lead a legion of nightmares into my slumbering mind. It's the conflict of the primal being as she struggles with her rational form. It's the cramped box of expectation as the air runs out.

- D.M.