Mental Illness: Flashbacks

This post is meant to provide a brief overview on symptoms of mental illness and then insight into living with the symptom. It should not be used as a diagnostic tool, but if you relate to what you read, it may be time to have a conversation with a mental health professional.  

A flashback is a vivid memory experienced as if it is happening currently. Flashbacks can take different forms. They can be emotional, visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile or a combination of senses. Someone who experiences flashbacks may experience different types of flashbacks depending on their mental state or the trigger for the flashback.

Flashbacks are primarily a symptom of PTSD or C-PTSD as result of the memory processing issues created by trauma. Basically, your brain does not properly make a complete memory of the trauma and is trying to recall the memory by associating it with current stimuli. As a result, any stimuli that reminds a person of their trauma can become a trigger for flashbacks. These can be internal stimuli such as thoughts or emotions OR external stimuli such as a smell, taste, or physical sensation. 

Reactions to flashbacks can be emotional (i.e. shames, fear, anger, etc) or physical (i.e. racing heart, feeling disconnected from your body, etc) as your brain tries to process the trauma in real time. Some people find flashbacks more distressing than others and tolerance for flashbacks can change over your healing journey.

There is not a way to prevent flashbacks but there are ways to manage them.

1. Create a safe space to go to when having a flashback 

2. Practice calming breathing exercises

3. Use ground techniques ( I like my EMDR app or using the CALM app. Doing a mindfulness exercise that focuses all five senses can also help a lot. - D.M.)

4. Ask for support from family, friends, or mental health professionals

*Mental Health Care may include medications or therapy. EMDR therapy is often used for people with PTSD and CPTSD to help process traumatic experiences. 

5. Create a self-care plan ( See our posts on maintaining physical and mental health)

Helpful Links

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - USA

PTSD: National Center for PTSD (USA)

Understanding PTSD flashbacks and triggers (UK)

Scientific Article: The neural basis of flashback formation: the impact of viewing trauma

What are Flashbacks? (Rape Crisis UK)

"I had PTSD for a number of years before I started having flashbacks. I often track the beginning of my PTSD experience to chronic nightmares I clearly remember starting when I was fourteen/fifteen years old. I did not start having flashbacks until after I was with an abusive romantic partner.

My flashbacks are often visual or emotional. I find scents to be a particularly strong trigger for me and have a small list of scents I now avoid. 

The most common time for me to have flashbacks is in the shower. I don't have any specific trauma that relates to being in the shower but I have a habit of seeking a hot shower to calm down and ground myself. Its also considered reasonable to lock a bathroom door even when things are spiraling. Sometimes when I am particularly uneven it feels like I close my eyes to rinse my hair as an adult and I open them to find I am back to being a teenager trapped in an abusive relationship. Same bathroom, strawberry shampoo, dim light... its all the same. It can be very disorienting and the desperate panicking that sets in can ruin my whole day. 

A couple years ago, I had a day where I woke up and looked in the mirror to see my ex's blood splattered on my face again. I knew it wasn't real and tried to just ignore it as I did my normal make up before I went about my day. It was the first time I had a flashback like that and to say I was unsettled would be an understatement. I felt so sad, like I would never ever find normal again. 

Interestingly, I got a tattoo on my shoulder a couple years back and its really helpful for grounding me for flashbacks in the shower or when I am getting ready because if I look down and don't see the tattoo... it isn't real. If I have the tattoo, then I know I am safe at home as an adult. I find it helps me a lot when I am struggling to keep myself in the current time.

That being said, I have also had extended visual flashbacks with no emotional reaction that lasted days. I continued through my normal day, working and even training staff, while doing my best to ignore the involuntary video reel in my head. It was a very strange experience because I objectively knew I was watching some of my worst memories but I had no emotions about them. I was complete apathetic to them and they were mostly annoying me because I couldn't focus. It lasted about three days and hasn't happened again. I never sorted our what triggered that one.

My final thoughts are ... time is hard when you C-PTSD between the flashbacks and dissociation. Time is slippery and my grounding in it is not as concrete as other people's seems to be. I often cant tell you how old I was when something happened and I am missing whole chunks of time because the stress was so bad that my brain just... didn't save the memories properly. There have been years of my life where I kept notebooks so I could jot down my days, more so when I am around people who make me question my reality. I am finally at a place in my life where a planner for work is all I really need. Home is safe and I don't need to stress everything so much."

- D.M.