This section on negative emotions is intended for mainly for survivors. We want to take a moment to define the emotions and provide a little insight into how these emotions affect survivors, as a guide for the Loved Ones reading. Please keep in mind that everyone has a unique experience and set of emotions.
Anger and rage are the next emotions in our negative emotions section. These two are some of the most outwardly visible expressions of emotion in survivors. It can be more pronounced in children. The definitions of anger and rage are as followed and provided by the online version of the Meriam-Webster dictionary.
Rage is a strong feeling of anger that is difficult to control.
These two emotions are often expressed in unhealthy and aggressive ways. Anger is a natural reaction to a number of situations and can be expressed in constructive healthy ways. The unhealthy and aggressive expression of these emotions create some of the most clear cries for help in children due to the difficulty caused to daycare and school workers. Inversely, aggressive expression of these emotions will lead to adult survivors alienating themselves. Anger and rage can be signs of many types of dysfunction within a persons life, a result of trauma, or as an expression of complex feelings. There are also certain personality types that channel any negative emotion in anger. It can be as much a defense mechanism as a weapon.
Anger and rage stem from and are resolved in different ways for different people. Our collaborators want to share some of their experiences with anger and rage. We invite our readers to share their own experiences in the comment section if they feel comfortable doing so.
" I don't often think about the anger involved in my own healing process. Its usually this extreme amount of bitterness when I am in a lot of pain resulting from my physical abuse. I have been working all day and instead of just aching like a normal person I am sitting on my floor crying and humming to myself. Its generally about that time that I feel angry. I have some days where it just hits me. It could be nightmares or some relationship problem I am working on, but all of a sudden I am just incredibly angry. The following is an excerpt from my personal blog and it captures what those days feel like.
I handle anger and rage in a couple of ways. I normally talk myself through it or sometimes try screaming in a room by myself. Those help most of the time. I have used painting to work out some of the feelings even. I used my hands, paint brushes, razor blades, and broken glass. It was really therapeutic to put all the negative emotions, anger and impulses onto the canvas. I am including a photo, and it doesn't look like much but in person it helps.
I can see the broken glass and the blade sticking out of the canvas. I can feel all the rage put into it, but its trapt on my canvas now. Its not inside me anymore. Painting and writing have been really good outlets. I highly suggest freewriting. Just grab a marker and a big sheet of paper, scream as much as you want and scribble down whatever you are thinking. I used to have pages and pages that just said fuck you over and over again. The key is to get the feelings out for me."
" I don't often think about the anger involved in my own healing process. Its usually this extreme amount of bitterness when I am in a lot of pain resulting from my physical abuse. I have been working all day and instead of just aching like a normal person I am sitting on my floor crying and humming to myself. Its generally about that time that I feel angry. I have some days where it just hits me. It could be nightmares or some relationship problem I am working on, but all of a sudden I am just incredibly angry. The following is an excerpt from my personal blog and it captures what those days feel like.
"Somedays I just want to scream. I dont want to censor or silence myself. Its beyond longing to simply release the feral beast trapped within. She is not a quiet, passive person. She rages, slamming against the walls of her prison while snarling and clawing any happiness nearby. She need not be provoked for simply being awake is enough to draw forth a mighty anger bore from the darkest reaches of my own soul. Today, today I want to scream. I dont want to reason with those I love or hope for their acceptance. Somehow today I want to scream to the overcast skies that there are still unhealed wounds, that I can not bear the saline words ground into them. The silent denial of truths that rock my world, the blissful ignorance of the black abyss monster always poised to drag me under the churning waves. The endless nights laying awake because I can feel the shadows settle as my demons hover over me waiting to lead a legion of nightmares into my slumbering mind. Its the conflict of the primal being as she struggles with her rational form. Its the cramped box of expectation as the air runs out.Today, today I want to scream. I want to roar, leave my throat raw with the rage I hold inside. Today I dont want to smile and lie."
I handle anger and rage in a couple of ways. I normally talk myself through it or sometimes try screaming in a room by myself. Those help most of the time. I have used painting to work out some of the feelings even. I used my hands, paint brushes, razor blades, and broken glass. It was really therapeutic to put all the negative emotions, anger and impulses onto the canvas. I am including a photo, and it doesn't look like much but in person it helps.
 |
| The Boxes |
I can see the broken glass and the blade sticking out of the canvas. I can feel all the rage put into it, but its trapt on my canvas now. Its not inside me anymore. Painting and writing have been really good outlets. I highly suggest freewriting. Just grab a marker and a big sheet of paper, scream as much as you want and scribble down whatever you are thinking. I used to have pages and pages that just said fuck you over and over again. The key is to get the feelings out for me."
-D.M.
* There is a very good chance that another personal experience will be added to this post. However, some of our collaborators are not very good with deadlines.
* There is a very good chance that another personal experience will be added to this post. However, some of our collaborators are not very good with deadlines.
